crap

June 03, 2003 | 3:10 pm

i was just driving around in the rain, and like i've done before, i was thinking about just driving my car into the on-coming traffic. or into a street light. so i don't have to deal with anything anymore.

then i thought, it's raining, so it would make sense if i suddenly lost control of the car. i mean, i was actually coming up with a plan.

and i've done this so many times before. just wondering what it would really be like if i went through with it.

i'm just too fucking sensitive. i can't handle everything that normal people handle every day. they hate their job, they keep going. i hate my job, and i can't think of anything else.

i'm so fucking pathetic.

i don't want to go to work tonight, or ever again really.

that's why i went out to look for jobs today. came home with nothing. so that means i have to go back. i really don't want to go. i'm trying to come up with reasons i can't go, but no matter what, i'm not going to be able to get myself out of this.

i wish i could just find something in my major that paid well. but there are no jobs here.

ok, i have to go.

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