things really suck sometimes.

May 18, 2003 | 4:57 pm

ugh... i got an email from one of my best friends yesterday. it's bad. i really feel bad for her and i can't stop thinking about it. i just don't want her to be sad and dammit i don't like it.

so the thing is, her mom is planning to leave her dad. and although this has come up before, she thinks she might actually do it this time.

Her dad is always working and she thought it was to help pay for her college. but apparently he hasn't put anything towards her tuition! she knew he didn't want her to go to our school, but she figured he finally gave in. but he hasn't. so her mom has been using her small salary and her savings to send her. and now she's through her savings. so she has to get student loans in order to come back to school.

another thing that really sucks about this is that her dad isn't a very emotional guy, but he does show affection through money. she said he's very generous with money and so the fact that he won't put any money towards college is really making her feel terrible.

then in her email she said all this:
"He gets pissed when my mom doesn't have his dinner waiting. He yells and tells her to shut up when he gets angry. He's constantly on my brother about every move he makes. He says horrible, bigoted things because he knows it pisses me off. He assumes I'm a lesbian because I'm not feminine enough. He does his best to make me feel ugly and stupid. He lies about everything, from where he's going to where he's been. But he's not like this all the time. He can honestly be a good guy. I don't know what's up with him."

ha, now this to me (although it's terrible for her) is kinda funny. because that's been my whole life. my dad is just like that. i don't even know if i've written this in here before, but my dad is bipolar. so that's the way it's always been. so maybe her dad is too. who knows. but anyways...

then she said this:
"I don't trust him, and I've realized I never really have. I think that's why I don't trust boys."

and that makes me feel bad. it sucks when you realize your parents are the reason that you have certain issues. it really does.

i don't know what his deal is either, but i'm pretty sure he's a stubborn guy who's just set in his ways. an old fashioned southern guy, ya know? and i know he loves her. based on the conversations they've had on the phone, and from seeing them interact when i went to her house, etc. he does really love her to death. so i told her not to feel that he doesn't. but i think the thing is, for his own reasons, he didn't want her to go to this school. so in his mind, he's doing what's best. but the thing is, she's been there for 2 years, and she's doing great in her major. it's just time for him to stop being a stubborn ass and understand it's not his decision, it's hers and he needs to support her. ugh. i just hate knowing she feels like crap. she should just never have to feel that way.

so maybe next year her mom (and dog, hehe) will move near to our school. which is the one thing that is good in this situation. she has a hard time being away from home. so if home came to her, that'd be really good for her. the only thing is, i don't want her to live off-campus. i love having her living with us, and i know that if she lives off-campus we'll see her a lot less. A LOT less.

ugh...

oh, and she wanted to come visit me this summer. and i was really excited. i really think she should come. just to get away from everything. but i know her, and she'll want to work her ass off and make money to help out at home. so she won't want to spend the money. but i don't care. it will be very good for her. and the only thing she'd have to pay for it the transportation. i'll try to find a really cheap flight. and my mom said she could even take the train and that's cheap. so hopefully i can convince her. i just really hope she's ok. i love her to death. grrrr.i just freakin' hate when my friends feel like shit. none of them deserve it.

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