i feel like i'm losing a lot

April 26, 2003 | 2:23 am

you know what makes you feel really good?

your "best" friend not acknowledging your birthday in any way. you give her 4 days, and you receive not a phone call, email, or package... nothing. it really makes you feel special. especially when you called her long distance on her 21st birthday.

i wonder what to do. i keep giving her more time, but i just want to call the whole thing off. just want to email her, have a nice life.

and i know she'd email me back apologizing a million times, saying she loves me, etc. but she'll never really be a good friend.

which makes me incredibly sad. because she was my best friend i'd ever had. we were so close.

if i lose her, i'll have no friends at home. i left home with 2 best friends, and i'll go home with none.

great.

.

.

.

.

it's really storming outside. the thunder is crazy. i should probably turn my computer off. but i kind of needed the comfort of this.

and i'll never see the boy i like again. i'm really sad about this. i just can't believe that nothing ever happened. it sucks. i just want to find him and kiss him. maybe that's all i really want, i don't know. but i'd at least like to find out.

whatever.

i'm just gonna go to bed. i have to work tomorrow. blah. and finish my last project and study for the worst test ever. then i'll be all done. and ready to go home for four months to no friends. no nothing.

by the way, the guy that lives above me apparently doesn't start doing ANYTHING until 2 a.m. every damn night i'm about to go to sleep and he starts something. either i hear faint music, or vacuuming, or a project being done, or moving stuff around... but only after 2 am. well, the rest of the freakin day he's playing drums. god, i can't wait to find out who lives above us next year. if it's anyone loud, i swear i'll kill them. ergh.

ok, goodnight. send me hugs or something. i really need them.

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